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After attending Batmobile State University, our alumni often get jobs

James Football
Renowned webmaster and D3 Analyst
Jimmy Football's D3 Paradise

"Batmobile State gave me all the tools I needed to become the premiere authority on Division 3 football."

The game is over, the fans are clearing out, and Division 3 football teams turn their attention to next week's game. As the lights turn out in stadiums around the country, the pressure is on in the basement of James Football's mother's house. James has to make sense of what happened to teams around the country, and he's got to get his rankings up by midnight.

"It gets pretty crazy," James said. "And my mom can get really annoying. But, this is what I'm famous for. You don't get to be the best without putting in the time and effort. Batmobile State University taught me about tanacity and the industry-standard HTML coding skills it takes to be an expert on the 'Net."

Being a superstar can bring its fair share of hate mail, but it also brings in a lot of fan mail, too.

"Every week, I get a few emails. One time, someone was mad because I left a team off my list. He just forgot to scroll down. It was no big deal. Most of the time, people email me things like "good job" or "enlarge your penis with C1@LI$"."


Johnny Run a.k.a. Master Cheif

Famous Needler Expert and Halo god

"One time I saw a kid with a mohawk, and with my excellent killing skills, develpoed at BSU, I frickin shot 10 needles into his face."

The fight begins in a race to save mankind. At the front lines is BSU's Johnny Run. After encountering technical difficulties in his video gaming class, Johnny Run turned into Master Chief and was sent into the mortal combat in a virtual reality world.

"In our video gaming class at BSU, I was imported into the Halo games trilogy and made the main character.," said Master Chief. "I was like, 'WTF?!' I encountered many alien scum and other crappy players that I ended up disposing of.When I'm in the game,I rock. I powned some lame @$$ noobs with my frickin sweet Battle Rifle."

Master chief is an all-around hero for many nerdy, have-no-life-but-Halo gamers. Although he hates being used and annoyed everyday and used like an "object", Master Chief is still greatful for his years spent at BSU.

"BSU taught me many things. Even though it taught me nothing about killing aliens but eveything about life."