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We have lots of majors here at BSU.

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Associate of Cosmotology - Professor Leask does a great job of teaching people what matters most: beauty.

Bachelor of Penmanship - Professor Frenette does a great job of teacing people to draw words down, so people can read them.

Bachelor of Creative Writing Studies-Professor Leask does a great job of teaching people to write good stories. Her recently published anthology, Poop Poop Candy Cats is on the Batmobile State Best-Sellers list. "This is the best book I've read," reads the review in the Batmobile State Screamin' Tattler.

Bachelor of Transhumanist Philosophy - Are we real or a part of a computer simulation done by a Post-Human race? Professor Ackmann does a great job of answering this question by using his original artifical intelligence simulations and copius amounts of jelly beans.

Bachelor of Illicit Activities - Professor Schmidt does a great job of teaching people to manufacture and sell firearms, and the proper techniques to snort cocaine.

Bachelor of Earth Science - Located in Earth College at Batmobile State University, Professor Frenette does a great job of teacing people the science of the earth (and other planets with terrestrial life forms). Special emphasis is put on Mars and XO3.

Bachelor of Yearbook Design - Self-study program designed to teach you to make yearbooks pretty. A background in circular pictures and collages is required for this major. Students also help produce The Happy Carrot.

Associate of Video Game Design - Professor Tierney does a great job of teaching people to design, (but mostly lose at) video games.

Bachelor of Mathematics - Professor Schmidt does a great job of teaching people to manufacture and sell firearms, and the proper techniques to snort cocaine.

Bachelor of Business - Professor Palmer does a great job of teaching people to create businesses centered around the creation and distribution of illicit street materials.

Bachelor of the Arts in Music - Dr. Dre does a great job of keeping it rockin'. Emphasis is placed in West Coast culture. Last year, he single-handedly conducted a study in drive-by tactics and prostitution literacy.

Bachelor of Plastic Manufacturing - Professor Frenette does a great job of teaching people to make plastic stuff. Emphasis is placed in toothbrush hygiene and third world manipulation and dealing with Wal-Mart.

Seminar in Bananas, Pancakes, and the Blending thereof, Febtober 1927 - Professor Bergman does a great job of teaching people to appreciate pancakes, bananas, and the blending there of.

Bachelor of Sleep Studies, formerly known as SSR (Sleep Studies Research Institute) - Professor Leask does a great job of placing students in real environments that are conductive to sleeping. Such as a hot room and the book the Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. She has gotten great reviews.

Bachelor of Still Life Photography, formerly known as Forensic Photography - Professor Ruzicka does a great job of teaching people to photograph dead bodies.

Bachelor of "S" Education- Our students are taught very strictly that "S" is a horrifying issue in the world. Professor LaGue teaches the basic religious aspects of "S," such as the consequences, and what makes "S" fatal.

Bachelor of The Rise and Potential Fall of Helmet Kid- Professor Trog opens the eyes of moronic non-wearing helmet kids. You will be required to sleep, eat, and breathe the famous and amazing Fib Bibble.

Bachelor of Undergarmet Wearing- Professor Christoffersen specializes in proper undergarmet wearing. She knows the true importance of making your body look most voluptous. Her favorite piece of undergarmet is the leopard print "granny-panty".

Bachelor of Real Good Grammar Usage and Stuff- Yous will b lernd 2 talk good gramer and spiik pretie. we will lol much often. profesor Annis teches bye txt onlee. cell fones wll b dmanded. bewtifull.

Bachelor of Secondary Custodial Maintenance- Students in this class will be exposed to a responsibility-enhancing environment where they will be given the duties of enhancing the grandeur of the BSU campus. Professor Walsh will lead the students in this on-the-job internship program, which will focus on advanced sanitation units such as Aerosolized Pigmentation Removal.

We also offer these programs:

Associate Degrees:
Word Processing
Pen-flipping
Ninjitsu
Paralegal
Map making
D3 Football Analysis
Barbershop Quartetting
Clock-setting
Computer Repair
Socks
Disc Jockiing
Cobbling
Begging
Social Doubles

Diploma Programs:
White water rafting
Mechanical Repairman
Car Lot attendance
Pickleball
Music
Iodine Maintainance
Recreational Chemistry

Other:
Base jumping
Espionage
Laser Disc Repair

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The Batmoble State experience doesn’t stop when you step out of class. Every facet of BSU student life—from our world-caliber music program to our champion sports teams —works together to create the ideal college environment.